Hero
by Brilliant5
Summary: Nathan contemplates on what it means to be a hero.


I've come to the conclusion that this story sucks terribly. But I'm posting it because every author has their doubts on a story they've written, then everyone says it's good. So I'm just seeing what you guys think.

If you give an criticism, please make it constructive. I want to do better next time.

This seems rushed to me, so it probably is. And this is my first Heroes fic as well as my first time writing in this point of view.

So yeah. R&R….you know the drill.

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"_You already bad guy. You are villain! Villain!"_

Hiro Nakamura's upset cries won't stop echoing in my mind. It's like he's inside me, deliberately trying to make me feel guilty about this whole thing. To tell the truth, it's working. I feel horrible.

My own brother is about to destroy New York City. And what do I do? I sit back and watch. Use the horrid event as fuel for my campaign. I know this will kill Peter - not physically, but emotionally. He always was a soft one. He cares more about others than he does himself. Usually. Being the reason of thousands of deaths will destroy him. He'll never be the same.

But that really doesn't matter, according to our mother. This bomb is meant to happen. Isn't it? I don't know anymore. I pace my office tiredly. My mother is on her way to pick me up so we can fly out of here. Be safe from the exploding man better known as Peter Petrelli. My brother. Then when New York is in ashes, I'm to come prancing back and be the city's rock. Their shoulder to lean on. Help them through this terrible ordeal.

I saunter over to the window. I look across the street at the sign that says "Vote Nathan Petrelli. He's our hero."

Yeah some hero I am. Allowing hundreds of people to die for my own benefit. I really am a villain.

On the other hand. This bomb will be the boost for my campaign. The people will turn to me for support. I'll be big. Famous even. Everyone will believe I can help them. And I will. But how can I help the city when I know my brother is the one responsible for the people's grief? I can't just hide that. Knowing Peter he might come forward, tell everyone the monster I really am.

My head hurts. I don't normally think this much. Which of course, I've never had the weight of a thousand lives in my hands.. But it's a price I'm willing to pay. For my family. For the people.

Peter would hate me forever though. Do I really want that? My little brother to look at me with pure hatred and heartbroken? He looks up to me. Or, he did. I'm not so sure what he thinks of me anymore. Lately I've been a prick towards him. Though not many insults can get through that thick skull of his.

I remember when he was little. Talking about being a superhero. Reading Batman comics and running around with a blanket draped over his shoulders. I smile at the memory.

But reality comes rushing back. Mom will be here soon. I can't get all soft now. Not when Mom is counting on me.

I plop down in my leather chair. There's a picture of Peter and I on the desk. When times were much better and far easier. When elections didn't tear families apart.

The election has been the biggest moment in my life. Not the happiest. But the biggest. I never thought newspapers and TV reporters would be chasing after me just to get a single picture or some kind of phrase they could mix up and make me look like an idiot. Like they do with George Bush.

My head is really killing me now. I have two options. Allow Peter to destroy New York and live with that guilt forever. Or leave the city and come rushing back once it's destroyed and let Peter hate me forever. The way I describe my two options seems biased. I guess it doesn't matter. They're options. And I need to choose one.

Peter probably already hates me. I remember the betrayal in his eyes from our earlier conversation. It killed me. I never want to see that look again. I don't even know what caused the look. He just suddenly backed away from me like I had two heads. I probably do. One that's telling me to help Peter and another that's telling me to get the hell out of New York.

There's a knock at the door. I turn around so that I'm facing it. Mom is there. She seems perfectly content. Like this doesn't bother her one bit. I open the door and let her in.

"Are you ready?" She asks.

"Yeah. Let me get my coat." With a sigh I snatch my coat from it's hanger and put it on.

"Heidi and the boys are already in the plane. They're waiting for you." Mom says.

I nod. I hadn't thought about them. When Peter explodes I'm going to have to hide this from my family. Unless I tell them. But that might make Heidi upset. She might leave. I shake the thought of never seeing my family again away and follow Mom.

We pass a few people that work in the building. They're oblivious. They have no idea what's going to happen. What I'm going to let happen.

"The plane is at the airport. It's ready when you are." Mom adjusts her coat.

I answer with a simple nod. She knows something's up.

"Nathan you're not having doubts." It's more like a command rather than a question.

"No." I say firmly. "I'm fine. Let's go."

She still doesn't seem pleased. But I don't care. If I just leave as soon as possible. I can put all of this behind me.

We get into a car. Her car I think. It doesn't take long to get to the airport. As we get closer, I get this shaky feeling. Like I'm on a roller coaster going a hundred miles per hour down a steep hill. I don't like this feeling. It means I'm getting cold feet.

The car comes to a stop. I step out of the car as casual as possible. Mom leads me to a plane whose engine is roaring.

Heidi and the boys are already inside. I can see them. They see me. The boys are excited. Heidi seems rigid. Like she knows what's going on. Maybe she does.

I look behind me. At New York, in one piece. Everyone bustling around continuing their nightly activities. Am I really going to destroy all of this? All of these people? Two kids are with their mother as they walk down the sidewalk. There's a lump in my throat. Those three will probably die in the blast.

At least Peter won't die. He'll regenerate. Thanks to my daughter, Claire.

Claire. She can heal herself. Peter absorbed her power. Now he can heal himself. Claire is going to live with this regret as well. She'll know he real reason of the explosion and will have to maintain a normal life which is already hard enough for a teenager. I remember a previous conversation we'd had….

"_You're telling me this guy Ted Sprague blew up your house?" I asked Claire._

"_Yeah. Pretty much." Claire answered softly._

"_Don't you see this Nathan?" Peter asked. "Maybe I'm not the bomb. Maybe this guy Ted Sprague is. Maybe we can stop him."_

"_You said you had a dream that you blew up New York City." I said._

"_Yeah, I also dreamed that I could fly. We know how that turned out for you."_

"_You can fly?" Claire asked me._

_I rolled my eyes and shrugged._

"_That's cool." She said quietly._

It was cool. How many other people in New York City could fly besides Peter and I? It's a gift. A gift from who knows. All the others I've met. Hiro, Claire, Isaac. They've used their ability to help others. Hiro is trying to prevent this apocalypse. Claire rescued a man form a burning house from what I hear. And Isaac's the one who informed everyone of the exploding man.

And me. What have I done? Nothing. I haven't helped a single person. But I'm going to kill thousands.

"Nathan." Mom is in the plane. She beckons me to do so as well.

I look at her. Then at Heidi and the boys. Heidi gives me a confused look. I look at Mom again.

"This isn't right." I say. And it feels good to do so.

"Nathan stop badgering and get inside." Mom speaks quickly.

"Do you realize what this means?"

Mom gets out of the plane and walks toward me, fast.

"Yes I do." She hisses. In a non-violent way. "It means you can be the one everyone needs."

"But. Peter-"

"Don't worry about him. Come on."

"You're just going to let him blow up like this? Kill so many people? It'll shatter him."

"It's not like he'll be able to commit suicide or anything." Mom says coldly.

I take a few steps away from her.

"Nathan." Mom gives me that look. The look she gives when I'm eating something before dinner.

"I can't let Peter do this alone. Tell Heidi I love her. And the boys."

"Nathan Petrelli stop this right now."

"No, Mom. Peter needs me."

Before she can say anything I take off. And it feels good. I soar through the sky, wind moving through my hair and making my clothes flutter. Now I need to find Peter. Aren't many people in the streets, so that helps some.

I fly around the city for a while. I stay high in the sky to avoid being seen. This is harder than I thought. New York is big. Peter could be anywhere. I fly a little faster.

I think I made the right choice. Peter is going to explode. I can't let today become another nine eleven. This feels right. Sailing through the sky unseen. I should have done this more often. It helps clear my head. Because now I don't feel as confused. I no longer have cold feet. They're rather warm. I know I'm doing the right thing. And for the first time in a while, I smile.

I have to save Peter. I have to save the world.

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ACK. I think I might regret posting this. sigh Oh well. Bash away.


End file.
